Not sure I’ve ever “fit in”.  I remember as a little girl, just watching.  I was hesitant to join the group and preferred to be on the outside looking in.  (I’m sure there are years of therapy I could do working through all of that…)  I had few friends through elementary and middle school and I definitely was not a part of the “in crowd”.

By the time I reached high school, I found there were more opportunities and I got involved in a ton of activities.  I was still not a part of the “popular kids”, but I made friends through those various groups.  We shared a common interest or goal and there was a “safety in numbers” type of feeling.

As I grew into an adult, I embraced the idea of having lots of different kinds of friends–not just an exclusive group to hang out with, but a variety.  I was friends with a very diverse group of women–age, socio-economic status, ethnicity, etc.  Peer pressure was not existent in my adult life. Until I moved to a new state.  Suddenly, I lost my footing and felt the pressure to fit in.  There was a definite group in the community.  Being new in town, I wanted and needed friends.  Once again, I felt like a little girl looking in from the outside.

I didn’t realize what was happening at first.  I definitely got caught up in the social scene and trying to make a place for myself and my family.  After a time, I realized I was not being true to myself.  I stopped and regrouped.  Part of this awakening is what eventually lead to our move.  I’m so thankful I reassessed and was honest with myself.

My family is starting over again. This time, I am being cautious and intentional about how we spend our time and who we spend it with.  I’m happy to be watchful and careful and not jump into anything without prayer and clear direction on which way to go.  Relationships are my top priority.  More on this to come.